I woke up this morning with a blanket of sadness wrapped around me. I had one of those dreams where it punched me in the feels and even thinking about it makes me sad all over again.
Explaining your dreams is sort of like looking back at a toilet bowl and describing your own shit. You may think it's fascinating, but no one really cares.
But, last night, I dreamed that the world was all done and let was only a matter of hours until the end reached me. In these moments, all I thought of was getting to my daughter and being with her. I thought of my sisters and brother and the life we had lived together on this planet. I wanted to hold them and my daughter in these final hours. I wanted my mother and father like a baby would. Writing this now makes me drip ugly tears. Thank goodness I didn't put on any makeup.
The world may or may not end soon. I have no idea, but I do know that I have to love those that have been with me in this life with a fierceness. Nothing is promised. Not a second of our existence. To reassure this life and those that we have loved is all we have. From our tragically flawed, but creative parents who did the best that they could with what they had, they gave us life. We persevered and like weeds in cracks, we've managed to be in this fucked up pavement of our world.
Love this beautiful life you've been given. It's all we have. Now and forevermore.